A ridiculous day in New Zed

Originally written October 1, 2011 in Auckland, NZ

Travel Rules

1. Don’t lose your passport

2. Don’t lose your glasses

3. Don’t put your spare glasses with your primary ones when you decide to wear your contacts



Oh dear. So I decided to wear my contacts and was heading to an IEP (international exchange program) New Zealand orientation for 10, and I had 30 extra minutes so I decided to take a gander. Wow, is Auckland ever hilly. The city of hills! If you were in a car you’d think you were boating on the ocean going up and down on massive swells! I thought biking up Davenport to get to Eglinton was brutal. It certainly makes for interesting walks. I can’t imagine the pandemonium that would ensue if it ever snowed here!

I ended up stopping in front of Sky City, one of Auckland’s biggest hotels; it was awash with rugby world cup fans sorting out their transportation for the day. I sat down and rummaged through my bag, taking everything out only to come up with no pen. Aaah! Back to the hostel, grabbed a pen, continued on to my IEP meeting.

Damn teeth. I blame Shonna and our converstion about people with bad dental hygiene for scaring me into becoming a bit obsessed in the last month. I brush, floss, I use mouth wash! I even got my teeth cleaned before I came too, and the exciting little gift pack the dentist gave me included some weird floss that is infused with some kind of minty powdered toothpaste. I finished flossing when I noticed that my contacts were dry so I took them out and went to get my glasses out of my case, which were also holding my spare glasses. Ah fuck. Not there. Fuck fuck. I double checked every pocket at least 4 times, and then took everything out and squished the bag flat to make absolute sure that they were not there.

So lost in the blurred reality of having inherited malformed eyes, I put my contacts back in. Well, only one actually. Shockingly, I didn’t wash my hands before attempting to slap one back on my eyeball. Searing pain! You know when you eat a really strong mint, like an after cigar mint or something similar, that increase in intensity after you’ve been sucking on it for awhile. Well imagine that in your eye! It was worse than when I rubbed residue of After Death hot sauce in my eye, that was pretty unfortunate as well.

I had to pluck the contact out of an uncontrollably squinty eye that was streaming everywhere. Ok! Go wash your hands!

But sadly, that was to no avail. I failed to remember that I had glamourized my teeth before I took them out, resulting in contaminated contacts. Fire in the other eye! Knowing that I would be totally blind and have no hope of getting another contact in if I took this one out, I shut my eye and swore angrily as I waited for my eye to do its thing and clean itself out.

Success! One eye with vision and two bloodshot eyes with eye veins galore! Are those veins always there? Or do they become visible when you piss your eye off, or do they just grow exuberantly fast? I looked like a hostel roomie’s nightmare, some crazed person with the worst possible case of pink eye, steer clear! That, or the stoned Canadian girl. Take off eh, hoser. They stayed like that for almost 2 days, ha!

My glasses got returned to the lost and found at Sky City casino, thank god. The security guys were awesome; both were huge, fairly squat and dressed in these royal blue jackets. I gave one of them a hug and said I’d be back to say hello if I ever come back. I had to go on a mad, half blind hunt to find the security in the casino, he graciously pointed me in the right direction.

Hoping to get an aparment tomorrow, but we’ll see… I’ve an interview for a job tomorrow, and if I get hired the company takes us on 4 week trips where they pay for accommodation, which would be rad! So much waiting, it’s annoying. And it is quite a cloudy rainy day, such is the forcast for the following 3. Hoping to walk up Mount Eden (a volcano!) in the next couple days, perhaps later today since I’m not doing much.


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